This “How I Structure My Day” Series started from a post I did on the topic in my own life, under which a woman asked if it would be possible to see how a woman working a more full time job did it. I asked women to share, and here are their responses! If you would like to contribute, you can here. All responses are shared anonymously here and on Instagram. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do!
The Woman:
- Partner: Yes
- Children: Yes – 11 & 8
- Hybrid (3d/w on campis; 2d/w at home)
- Colorado
Typical Morning:
- ~7am – I usually get up first in the family at around 7am and get myself ready for the day then make sure my kids are up by 7:45.
- Kids are 11 and 8 so we are in a phase of encouraging independence. They get themselves ready with as little input from me as possible. They are in charge of their own presentation (clothes, teeth, hair, etc.), and I rarely intervene.
- Once we are all ready, we head downstairs for about 30 min of family breakfast, lunch prep, water bottles, school bags, etc.
- Kids are mostly autonomous while I am also having breakfast, prepping my lunch if leaving that day, and getting coffee.
- Kids are also in charge of anything they need to bring like library books, instruments, etc. Challenging them to be on top of their own needs has really helped our mornings.
- Then we all walk to school together at about 8:30. The kids don’t “need” us to walk them, but it’s a nice time for movement, sunshine, conversation, and we walk our dog.
- Campus days I drive in shortly after we return. WFH days I have a slower breakfast (with partner when we can) then transition to my office.
Morning “Make Life Easier” Hacks:
- I choose my own outfit the night before if going to campus (WFH I’m in sweats).
- I meal prep my lunches so they just go in my bag.
- The big thing is teaching my kids to do their own evening prep to make mornings easier. Set out instrument so they don’t forget it. Check lunch menu and decide if they want to pack a cold lunch (then do so if desired). Find library books. Set out uniforms or other activity things we might need tomorrow. I’m still supervising and reminding, but they are getting better and better at it.
- There’s also a system for walking in from school. Bags away, lunch box cleared, talk about homework needs.
- If the afterschool and bedtime routines are both done, mornings are smooth.
Transition into Work-Mode:
I’m admittedly terrible at this. When I drive to campus, I love listening to audiobooks and that helps. On WFH days the slower breakfast transitions in.
What my work day looks like:
- I teach and have meetings with my teaching assistants on MWF. I usually have a meeting during lunch and many days go straight through 10-3. That allows me to have the slower mornings and walk my kids to school (I’m not a morning person at all). Then I head home, run around for after school activities, then sometimes work later that evening, but again I’m a night owl and find myself productive later in the day.
- WFH days I try to have no meetings at all on Thursdays and that has dramatically helped my productivity. I do my deeper cognitive work, like lesson planning, writing, etc. on Thursdays with no interruption to my flow and that helps me get a lot done in a short amount of time. I use the Bright Method for all of my work and personal tasks which helps me manage everything. I have lots of repeating tasks since my teaching weeks can be similar, but allow for easy shifting around when a student needs extra time or it’s an exam week and work is different.
Lunch/Snacks
- MWF I eat during my break inbetween classes, even if it’s a meeting. Not my favorite, but it works for now.
- WFH I try to block 30min to make myself walk away from my desk and eat more mindfully.
- I always pack a snack for the drive home MWF because I need it and it helps me get through to dinner.
Breaks
- Not really. On WFH days, I am good about noticing when I haven’t moved much. I always run a few loads of laundry on those days as well because it makes me walk away from my computer and take a break. I actually like folding and putting away laundry while listening to a podcast and that way I get a break or two in my day and don’t have to do laundry on the weekend.
Leaving work
- I stop at 3:45 when school gets out, but always return to it depending on the activity schedule.
- If I’m the one doing carpool, it’s after dinner. If it’s not my turn, I get more done before dinner and am able to shut it down around 6 when it’s time to cook.
Transition out of work mode
- I don’t transition out of work well. I stop work at 3:45 for the after-school activity run around, take meetings in the car, grade papers in the parking lot, go back to work after dinner. Not all of it every day, but there is rarely a clean transition from work to personal. However, I have always viewed it as a work-life blend rather than balancing them against each other and the back and forth doesn’t usually cause too much stress.
- The walk to pick up my kids from school offers a nice transition to being with them, even if I go back to work when we get home.
After work hours:
- With kids 11 and 8, I’m an Uber between 3:45 and 7:15 most days.
- Two things make a big difference:
- Scheduled rotation of drivers, and
- Meal planning.
- My partner and I have the driving divided differently each day, but every Monday is the same, every Tuesday is the same, etc.
- Some days, it’s easier to take to the activity, stay there and do easy work, transition to other activity, then come home and partner picks up.
- Other days, one of us does drop and pick & the other gets to stay home.
- We have a carpool for one kid activity, and that helps, too.
- Dinner works well because every Sunday I plan the week, grocery shop, and usually meal prep a lunch for myself to take to campus and a kid favorite after-school snack. (Kids are starting to join in, too, which I love).
- I plan dinners based on who is home when. Some days we can eat together, other days we eat at 4 different times and I need something that can wait around that long.
- I give myself one weeknight to pick up dinner and usually do that on a heavy work day for me when I know I won’t want to cook.
- Sunday family dinners with no screens is a non-negotiable, and we usually get one other night a week for dinner together as well.
- Once everyone is home and fed, sometimes I work and sometimes I relax and watch a show.
- For bedtime, the kids are self-sufficient, but I still read with both of them because we enjoy it and it’s important to me. Sometimes I read to them, sometimes they read to me, sometimes we just read our own things while being together.
- After kids are down, partner and I will watch a show or talk and connect about our days.
- The new parenting level I can feel coming up though: my oldest has a bedtime about the same as me, so often times after we are done reading, I just go to bed myself.
Post kid-bedtime hours:
- Hours post-kid-bedtime are shrinking as they get older and stay up later. Some days I’ll have an hour left in me and usually I’ll talk and connect with my partner and/or read alone. My quiet reading time is my saving grace and an important way I finish the day.
Nighttime Non-Negotiables:
- Everyone cleans up their own dishes whenever they finished, and partner and I clean up the kitchen once kids head to bed.
- Kids set out necessities for the next day
- I pick my outfit if going to campus and pack a lunch if there isn’t one already prepped.
- I always review my calendar for the next day just for my own comfort of knowing what to expect and having the right mindset about it.
- Then I have quiet reading time.
Afternoon/evening “make life smoother” tips:
- My whole house shuts off screens by 8:00 on weeknights. This is important for my kids to have time to transition to bed and do other activities they enjoy like legos, board games, drawing, etc. And it gives my partner and I time to clean up, reset, and connect about our day.
- Admittedly, my partner and I might turn something back on to watch after kids are down, but not every night. Many times, we are all done with screens at that time.
Sharing the load with your partner:
We are absolutely 50/50 but not split perfectly every day. We have a great balance of general chores, driving kids, all the parenting and home stuff. But we shift the 50/50 depending on work needs. If one of us is overwhelmed, the other will pick up the slack. Some days are 60/40, some 80/20, then we switch. We always say we just have to get to 100 that day, and as long as we talk about where we are at, the other can make up the difference. It’s never felt lopsided – we communicate about it well. This took time to achieve though (we are about to celebrate year 25), and this has been wonderful for us and our family’s happiness.
Outsourcing:
- We have cleaners once a month. We used to get meal kits regularly, but with some new allergies for me and one child, I’ve gone back to cooking at home and planning it out myself, and I actually like it better.
Exercise:
- I usually get a workout in on WFH days after the kids go to school, but not as regularly as I would like. My days on campus involve a lot of walking and standing, so those days I meet my movement goals. I will often do a workout with one kid or the other on weekends as they’ve gotten older and enjoy that time.
Anything the sharer wants to share:
- Don’t be afraid to change your system as your own life evolves. As jobs change, kids change, home life changes, a new season requires reevaluation. It’s ok to let go of an old system that used to work but doesn’t serve you now.
- We added a large digital family calendar to our kitchen, and it has really helped my kids’ independence. They know what to expect, what is different that week, when I’m traveling, when we have plans as a family to see grandma, etc. That alone has helped me by removing the “what are we doing tomorrow?” from every bed time!
That’s a wrap for this one!
Thank you so much to this woman for generously sharing. This is part of a series, so stayed tuned for more each Thursday here and on Instagram. The goal is to show how women from different industries, with and without kids, with and without partners, with family living with/near them and not, wfh to 1+ hour commutes, etc. structure their day. Enjoy!
And if you would like to contribute (all posts are published anonymously to allow you to share the nitty gritty details without concern), you can by filling out this form. Thank you!
A reminder of the ground rules to ensure women continue wanting to share about their days and feel safe doing so:
- Encouraging comments always welcome!
- If you have questions or even hang-ups about what someone shared, you are welcome to ask a question for the sharer in the same kind, genuinely curious way you would if you were looking at that woman in her eyes. She might respond through me.
- If comments are judge-y or mean-spirited, I reserve the right to delete comments. I can handle being criticized about my own work here (and even still, to a degree – I’m also a person), but I go into full mama bear mode when people come after my people – including women who are being vulnerable and sharing in the first place.
- Thanks to the vast majority of people who are so kind!
New here? Welcome!
I’m Kelly Nolan, an attorney-turned-time management strategist and mom of two. I teach the Bright Method, a realistic time management system designed for professional working women. In addition to this fun new series, I share bite-sized time management strategies here and on Instagram. Thanks for being here!
