We’ve talked about how to handle sick kids at home (resources on that below), but what about all of the scheduled days off of school. Someone asked me to discuss those days, so let’s do it!
Sick kid resources:
- Eps. 26 and 27 of this podcast (though missing some updated info in the article)
- This article – tip 1 contains the updated information
Other kid-related resources mentioned:
- What do working moms do in the summer – 12 practical strategies
- 13 strategies to plan for maternity leave
- Career or Kids: When to stay, leave, or scale down your career for kids – at least for now
A full transcript will appear here within two weeks of the episode being published.
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Full Transcript
Ep 90.
[Upbeat Intro Music]
Kelly Nolan: Welcome to The Bright Method Podcast where we’ll discuss practical time management strategies designed for the professional working woman. I’m Kelly Nolan, a former patent litigator who now works with women to set up The Bright Method in their lives. The Bright Method is a realistic time management system that helps you manage it all, personally and professionally. Let’s get you falling asleep proud of what you got done today and calm about what’s on tap tomorrow. All right, let’s dig in!
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Kelly Nolan: Hey, hey, and welcome back! All right, today’s episode is a mom-specific one. I just want to throw it out there that if this is one of your first episodes here, please know that most of the episodes actually do not focus on mom-specific things. I actually really take a lot of pride in having this be for women with or without children. But occasionally there are time-management challenges that people with kids deal with, and so, we’re just gonna talk about one of those episodes today.
Today’s topic is how to handle all the days that your kids have scheduled off. Now, we’ve talked about, previously, what to do with kids when they’re sick, and it’s kind of that curveball of we have to be home and you have to work, that kind of thing. Someone asked for a specific episode on, “Well, what about even the days that we know that they’re gonna be home ahead of time?” There could be something like 15 a year, or that was the number they gave me. It could be different for your school system. But there can be these scheduled days off that, even though we know they’re coming, they’re still hard to navigate because they might have a day off, but you don’t. And so, how do we deal with that?
Step One: Calendar Out School Year and Block Days – 1:34
Taking a step back, and my guess is you’re already doing this to a degree, so I don’t think I’m blowing your mind here. But obviously the first step is taking a school calendar, when you get it, and plotting it all out in your own calendar and then also blocking your work availability. This is something I recommend doing just right away. Block your work availability for every day that your kids are gonna be home, are scheduled to be home. That doesn’t mean you have to be the primary caretaker. That’s not what I’m saying. But I always like planning kind of proactively here and blocking my time, and then if I can free up some of my time, then I can free it up.
And so, as soon as you get a calendar — and oftentimes you might have next year’s calendar and even one year more. It just kind of depends on timing of the year. I love sitting down — I don’t know. Love’s a strong word. It’s a little hard to put all those days off in the calendar. But it’s not a hard lift to take a calendar and just kind of start puzzling it into your own calendar. I like putting things on the personal side of things, and then again, as I said, I like blocking my work availability. Even if I can later free time up, I will throw out there that I almost still block my meeting availability, and then I plan on working, doing more heads-down work. But on days where I’m counting on childcare in a non-typical way, in the ways that we’re gonna talk about, I almost just kind of assume that it might fall apart a little bit, and so, not having meetings on those days is really great. So step one here is calendar out the school year as best you can. Block all work availability at the outset to protect time for those days.
One caveat here — I’m kind of jumping ahead but it makes sense here — is you might not block your availability if your partner takes the lead on part or all of these things. I tend to kind of block my availability just to practically get it all out there and then have a conversation with my partner and see how their schedule shakes out and things like that. So I kind of still start from the most kind of conservative place of let me just block my work availability and then go see what I can do. But if you have established with your partner that they take all the scheduled days off in the way that we’re gonna talk about, then maybe you don’t have to do that first step, but instead you just need to make sure that they do that first step or that it’s on their radar that the calendar’s out, if they’re not in charge of that, and make sure that they’re blocking that availability now so that, you know, a curveball — if they didn’t, then you might have to help clean that up later. Sometimes I just find it easier to make sure that people are doing the front-end work, so I don’t have to pay for it down the road.
I bring this up in this context — just to explain this a little bit more is that I did a crowdsource on Instagram about how people handled sick days off and, more specifically, how they proactively handled with a partner if they had a partner, what to do with sick days off. And so, some people would talk about splitting days, kind of having typical times of day where if a kid is sick they know they’re gonna take the morning and their partner will take the afternoon, things like that.
But what I thought was fascinating is some people are in partnerships where one of the people in the partnership has a not-flexible job and the other person has an at least a little bit more flexible job. And the way that they have divvied it up is this. They will say that the person without flexibility blocks their calendar, blocks their availability, and proactively takes all of the scheduled days off. Because their schedule is flexible, they could take days off with a lot of heads up. And so, they will schedule those days off, all the scheduled days off. And then the partner who has a little bit more of a flexible job will take all of the sick days. Not saying you have to do that. I just thought it was a fascinating, really smart, creative approach to problem solving all of these issues.
And so, I throw that out there, and in the context of what I’m talking about in step one is really blocking your calendar as soon as you see the days coming. If your partner is the one who does that, just making sure that they’re doing that so that you know that someone’s covering. The conservative backdrop of we have backup for these days right now — or not even backup. We have scheduled childcare right now. It’s all set. This doesn’t mean that that scheduled childcare situation has to be what’s going forward, but it’s a good starting place. And again, we’re gonna talk about how to potentially free up some of this time in a way that works for people as we go forward.
The last point on this that I want to throw out there is that I also schedule, every two months, to go check the school calendar again and just make sure that what they have in there is consistent. I will say, my school does have one of those integrated calendars where I could feed their calendar into my Google Calendar. I did it, and I don’t like it. It’s too much information. It’s like the whole school’s information is on there, and candidly, it just is easier for me to manually look through the broader calendar and then look at my own and compare it.
And I know that I could toggle that calendar on and then look for that and then put it in my calendar, but I don’t know why just looking at one screen at the school calendar and looking at my calendar in the other and then manually doing things is a lot faster and cleaner for me, specifically. It doesn’t mean it has to be for you. But I just share that. More to the point, just make sure that you are consistently making sure your calendar that was accurate when you put it in remains accurate with some of the changes schools make as the school year goes on.
So just to recap step one is, obviously, when you get a calendar, calendar out all the days that are half days or full days off, and then make sure your work schedule or your partner’s work schedule is fully blocked. I tend to just be a little bit conservative and block everything and then I might go have a conversation. But it’s just like I just need it in there to be clean of I need to understand that this is a day that there’s gonna be some weirdness, departure from our normal schedule, and I’d rather have my work schedule blocked.
And then, as I said, even if I open it up, like I get coverage, I tend to still want it just to be, like, heads-down work and not necessarily meetings. Not everybody can do that, but I just share it in case you can that that really helps. Because if you have, as we’ll talk about, a family member or another family helping out, those people could end up being sick. They might end up unavailable, and suddenly you’re scrambling, and you’re scrambling a lot less if you don’t have meetings and you were just planning on getting work done.
Step Two: Current Action Items – 8:16
Okay, turning to how do you open it up. Now, I’m sure I’m gonna miss some options here, but I just wanted to share some. I now have real school-aged kids. I’m in my third year of it. I’ve learned some things. I’m sure I’ve not learned them all, so if you have more to contribute to this, please feel free. Please feel free to email me, and I can update this over time. Here are some of the options I’m aware of for now.
Option One: Split Time With Your Partner – 8:42
The first one up is obvious. If you have a partner and you can share the day that they’re off or days across all of the year off, then go for it. So you might decide, “I’d rather take a full day off and then my partner takes the next scheduled day off,” or just even divvying them up for that it’s roughly 50/50 over time or however it works in your family. Again, if your partner is not flexible, then this could be a way that they could build in some of this childcare support in their schedule in a flexible way, and you could have more of that time off knowing you’re taking more of the sick days, whatever it might be.
But if you can, if you’re both somewhat available to help with these days off, sit down with your partner and say, “How do we want to divvy this out?” Oftentimes, I mean, it’s really up to you. You could, as I said, do one person takes one day, one person takes another day. Or you kind of both could aim to split the days whenever you’re both able to help out with a kid at home. Really just split the days so one of you gets a half day at work while the other watches the kids and vice versa.
I tend to like half days because it’s less of a lift to have to leave the office or leave your house for a full day. You’re coming back to less email having been built up. It just kind of is a little bit of a less jarring day-off-type thing. But again, these are scheduled days off. You see them coming, so you can plan for them. And if you would rather take a full day so you guys can go on a bigger adventure together or things like that, then do it! Even though it can be tricky, it’s one of the nice parts of having kids is being like, “Okay, that’s gonna be a day off, and maybe I just take it and we run with it and have a great time, and because I know it’s coming, I can wrap up work earlier the day before.” And by the day before I just mean wrap it up earlier in the week than you would have.
Option Two: Tap Into Family and Friends and Playdates – 10:29
Option B: family. If you have parents nearby, if you have a sibling nearby who will help out with kids, that’s an option. Similarly, friends. One thing I like to think about is play dates. Having playdates sometimes even if I don’t plan on working is really nice just because it’s a fun activity for the day, and if kids are off, it’s kind of like they feel like it’s a fun, special thing that they get to have a playdate on a weekday.
Another thing you could do if you’re talking about family or friends with other kids is swapping, so doing three hours at one house, three hours at another, and then you can really have some windows in there of some work time. Probably you’re not gonna get a full day out of that, typically. But again, just even a couple hours where you can stay on top of email, not plan on any real work but, again, just stay on top of email and keep things moving forward, that kind of stuff, can be really, really valuable.
Option Three: Single-Day Camps – 11:22
Another option that I had not really realized until kind of this year is some kid-centered activities also have camp-type things for days off. So, for example, my daughter’s gymnastics place has camp things, and actually we’re going into a weekend where there’s no school on Monday. And so, my daughter’s gonna go to, actually, a different gymnastics place for their camp with a friend. And that segues me into the point of I do find these things can be easier to manage if a friend is involved because dropping your kid off at a camp where they don’t know anybody can sometimes be a pretty tough sell. But if a kid’s going then that’s great.
In my school community, people will text out on the WhatsApp thread and be like, “So-and-so’s going to this camp on so-and-so day if anyone wants to join,” and then that way other people can join in as well. So if you don’t have that yet, I would say that that’s the type of thing that can be really nice to establish if there is some sort of class email thread. Ours is a WhatsApp, but there could be other platforms that they’re in. Just throwing it out there and saying, “You know, I’m gonna sign so-and-so up for this,” and see if other people will join could be a really nice way to make it an easier transition.
I always kind of thought those things would be a tough sell for my daughter, and I felt a little bit kind of more obligated to stay home and just be with her, and as soon as I was like, “Your friend’s doing this,” she was all in and remains all in. So that’s exciting! I’m not sure she would have been last year, so I just share that. If your kid isn’t, maybe try again the following year. Don’t rule it out forever because I’ve always been perpetually amazed at the changes that happen in a year.
Option Four: Nannies and Babysitters – 13:06
Another idea, I mean, I’m not blowing your mind here, is nannies and babysitters. One thing you could do is as soon as you get that school calendar — which I know I’m recording this in February. It’s kind of a little late. But for next year when you get the school calendar, and you might already even have it, is to the extent these people are planning that far in advance, you could kind of create a list of all the holidays you need help with and text it out to various babysitters and just see if they’re willing to commit.
What’s tricky is I do feel like sometimes when you get someone’s buy in four months before a date you are just upping the chances that something will happen, and they’ll change their mind. So just calendar a reminder to check in with them maybe a month before and make sure that they’re still up for it. And if not, that gives you time to find different options.
I’ll throw out here too that if it’s a real holiday, not just a professional development day where teachers are still working, if it’s a real holiday, you could see if teachers or old daycare center teachers who probably also have the day off might want to make extra money by watching a kid, and your kid might know them already and you feel good about who they are. And so, that could be a great type of option to go for. So totally take it or leave it. Just kind of helpful to think about who else might have these days off even if your normal sitter doesn’t and could that help.
Option Five: Middle/High School Parent Helper – 14:23
Another one (actually I’m just thinking of this now, and I might do it myself) is if there are high school or even middle school kids in your neighborhood who are interested in kind of being, I feel like we should call it a parent helper (a mother’s helper but like a parent helper) where you’re gonna stay in the house while they’re there but they can watch your kids and you know that having a middle schooler would be probably super cool for your kids if they’re young. That’s an option too.
So again, just getting creative of who else is bopping around on these days that has the day off that normally doesn’t. They might not want to work, but if they wanted to just bring in a couple of hours, that’s the nice thing about if there’s a middle school or high school kid in your neighborhood, even if they just want to come for two or three hours, that could be awesome for you. And so, thinking about those as well, and then again, kind of as soon as you see them, maybe start asking. Again, far in advance can be hard. So really thinking ahead on when would people know and maybe even calendaring two months out from each holiday, “Start looking for sitters for this time,” might be a more time efficient and effective way for you to go about this.
Option Six: If You Can, Lean Into The Day Off – 15:32
The final thing I wanted to throw out there that’s obvious is just leaning into the day off if you can. Again, there are so many curveballs, and it’s so hard to take time off for sick kids, so I feel bad saying also lean into the scheduled days off, but getting a day off with a healthy kid is really different than hanging out with a sick kid at home. Although, it is worse when they’re sick enough not to go to school but basically acting healthy and are bopping off the walls. But when you have a truly healthy kid and you can go do things, I’m not saying for every day they have off, but if there are a couple days, especially I would pick days that not the whole state has off, if it’s a weird day that your school has off that the zoo’s not gonna be overrun or things like that, pick those days to have fun with your kid if you want to, and then line up childcare for other days because it can be fun.
And I say this as someone who does not romanticize motherhood. I think it is really hard, and the loss of time freedom really gets to me. So I’m not saying this is like a puppies and rainbows type thing. But I have found it enjoyable, especially as my kids get older, to go on little adventures when places aren’t overrun like on the weekends and a real big holiday and do things. Or small things, like even just going out to a brunch at a diner can be so exciting for them and really fun. And so, I just throw that in to say you could lean into that. Whether you’re leaning into it voluntarily or not, if you have to be the person who’s watching a kid for a certain period of time, I would just remind you while you’re thinking about your calendar and blocking this availability off, is potentially also accommodating that day off in the surrounding days.
And so, kind of like a mini version of what I talk about when we do travel is think about if you have to take — as I said, this weekend’s a long weekend, and actually, this is a Thursday I’m recording this. My oldest does not have school tomorrow, my youngest does, and then both kids are home Monday. Really think about, “How am I gonna wrap up work earlier in the week than I normally would?” Shift tasks around to make sure that you get things done and wrapped up maybe earlier than you normally do to accommodate this. I’m potentially saving — if you want to do an adventure but then have a rest time or iPad time for a bit with the kid, then planning out a couple little things to do during that time but, again, probably saving it for more reactive email response time. That kind of stuff, just plotting it out.
Oh, and then on the other end, maybe blocking your first two hours back the next workday to really dig into email and process it, things like that. It’s not like a mini vacation. That’s not what I’m saying. But treat it like that from a time-blocking perspective of your availability. I think that can help ease — you know, there is a benefit that we know these are coming. And so, let’s plan for them in a way that kind of allows you to enjoy them the most that you can or at least not make them incredibly stressful for yourself.
Recap – 18:34
All right? So I hope that makes sense! I don’t think anything I’m saying is groundbreaking, but I think that hopefully just even having an approach that’s more clarified and articulated and that you can kind of just think about what works for you and what doesn’t could be just really wonderful. It just helps out and eases some of the stress that I think happens when we have a lack of clarity and we’re like, “What do I do with this?” And every year we’re dealing with it, but we’re so busy and in the weeds that we, understandably, don’t kind of have a clear approach to what we do.
So I hope that this helps! Again, to recap, calendar all the full days and half days off. Block your work availability or ensure that somebody else is doing that so you have, just between you and your partner, a conservative, worst-case-scenario, “No one can help us with the kids but we’re still okay,” setup. And then look at the days with an eye of, “I don’t have to take the same approach for every day. But for some of these days, we’re gonna split with partners. Some of these days, I’m gonna look for family support or even for a couple hours in those days. Some of these days, I’m gonna look for family friends who might help out, might do a playdate swap, things like that.” You might look for camps, particularly camps if my kids are already familiar with that place, or I can get one of their friends to sign up with them. That can be a great thing.
Along those lines, I might start just emailing out or texting out or messaging out or whatever it is, on these apps to other parents to see what they’re doing. You could even ask, “What are people doing for this? Is anyone doing a camp? I’m looking for something for so-and-so,” and just see what’s out there. And then also the nannies and the babysitter route. Really thinking about maybe high school kids, middle school kids who might be home on the same day or old daycare teachers who also might not be working, things like that, and then finally, if you have to or you want to, just really leaning into the days off with a healthy kid and making it a little bit special by doing something fun. I think that if you can do a little bit of all of that, or parts of that, I mean, over time, then hopefully it’s less of a pain point over time.
Okay, and if you like thinking about stuff like this, just know that I have a lot of articles on my blog that I’ll put in the show notes that relate to kids in similar ways. It’s like what do working moms do during the summer, what to do with sick kids when they’re at home. There’s another one on career, kids, on kind of evaluating whether you want to go part time or take a step back or stick with a job through kids. All of these, I believe, are crowdsourced, which is really, really awesome because you’re getting not just what I think but real advice from real women who’ve gone through some of this stuff. And so, I’ll put those in the show notes. Just know that they’re there if you want them. Oh, and one more was how to prep for maternity leave. That was a really good one and a really good crowdsourced one. So that one will be there as well.
So check those out if you want! Send this to a friend if you want! Leave a review if you want! And regardless, thank you for being here, and I’ll catch you in the next episode!
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